What the HELL?!

How nice is this? I decide to finally do something to help myself and this is my reward.

My chiropractor has been ‘encouraging’ me to strengthen my core for the last few months. He says it will help keep my lower back stable. I get it. I’ve had lower back problems ever since after Princess was born. Probably something to do with weight gain. Duh. So, I talk to my sister, the massage therapist/Pilates instructor because I was trying to do some minor core work on my own but I was in pain. My whole body just ached, especially the last few weeks. She tells me to come over and she will give me some stretching exercises to do. Some ‘pre-Pilates’ was her term. Because she thinks I need to start slow, real slow and she is correct. I am sloooowwww. I did the stretches with her Thursday evening then I did them again Friday morning on my own, obviously incorrectly. Turns out I’m fucking lame too! This is also when I realize that I ran out of Glucosamine a few weeks ago and damn it, I always forget that this shit really works for joint pain. Well by 11 am that morning I was in excruciating pain. I could not sit still, had to keep standing up at work because it hurt to sit too long. I managed to get into my chiropractor after work where he was able to give me some relief but two times in and out of the car on the way home and I was right back where I started. So much pain some moments I was nauseous. Doc, bless his heart, told me “you’re a tall drink of water” meaning, I’m sure, “you are tall and you have a lot of upper body weight pressing down on your weak lower back. Lay your ass down on some ice for a few days. No twisting or bending either” and sent me home with mega doses of Glucosamine. There went the weekend. I have been unable to sit up long enough to write. When I try to join the rest of my family in the living room for a few minutes I am so uncomfortable I can’t sit still. Back to the bedroom I go with my ice pack.

I’m presently a double martini, two Tylenol and three Ibupfrofin in to the evening and I can sit up to do this.

I keep saying I am going to give up food. I know, I KNOW, I need to eat to live. Then I think maybe temporary Bulimia would do the trick but “I flunked” that. Obviously I seriously need to get this weight off unless I want to be in pain forever. There are so many other reasons I need to lose weight but I’m so bored hearing myself think about them all the time. Damn it! I need to JUST DO IT. I’ve done it before but that was before I discovered that I love Vodka. Apparently that is the main thing I need to quit but that will have to be once my back is at least not SCREAMING at me when I try to get out of bed, I can stand up without listing to one side and I can bend over to pick up all the crap I keep dropping on the floor.

Back says it’s time to stand up for a few minutes and go get a new ice pack.