RBF

I have RBF aka Resting Bitch Face syndrome. It's a pretty serious case and has gotten considerably worse as I've gotten older. Wrinkles, especially the "eleven" between my eyebrows, will do this to a face. In all fairness though, it's genetic. Between my father's strong forehead, nose and chin, OH that chin, and my mother's round Irish face and small mouth, we were doomed. We meaning me, my sister, my son, my daughters, my grandson, my granddaughter and my niece and nephews. 

For years I have thought it was just me and lately I notice more how much it affects others. I get strange reactions from people at times, some hostile. 

I can list so many instances where people have responded negatively to me and I would get confused. Then I would be so self conscious and just want to crawl under a rock. 

I constantly get the "Smile", "It's not so bad", "What are you looking at?", "What's your problem?" or "Are you okay?." Then there is the just plain rude people who react as if I'm being rude.  Apparently I can be very intimidating to anyone who is insecure, mostly men that are shorter than me, which is a lot of them.  And more often than not, I am looked to as the leader in a situation. Seriously, I wonder some days how I'm going to make it through introducing myself without acting a fool. Leader, shmeader, Pffft.

Others have a hard time reading me. While I kind of like keeping some people on their toes at a distance, it does make interacting with others very difficult for a 5'11" introverted woman.

Then today, watching my niece respond to a comment someone made, I saw her face. It was totally just a blank kind of stare but it looked like she was irritated. I saw a slight reaction in the other person and it hit me that my niece gets the same responses I get. My beautiful, fresh faced, sweetest niece. 

It doesn't seem to bother her or my other relatives that they have it. Maybe mine is the worst case? What is a bitch face to do?

Why in the fuck to I care so much? I mean, Resting Bitch Face could be a sign of strength and confidence.  

I will learn to Rock it! Wear it proudly. Stop trying so hard to put on that fake ass smile. And it is fake when people tell me I have to.

Okay, now I must crawl out of this rabbit hole I fell into and get some chores done.