Nothing really

That is my problem; what I say in discussions with others feels like a bunch of nothing. I can't organize my thoughts enough to generate a coherent sentence. Hmm, I just did. Woo Hoo.

Seriously, I was thinking last night that I really need to be quiet until I can speak succinctly because, like I write, I speak it spits and starts (and run on sentences, I know). Okay, I don't really spit on people, at least I try not to. I'm just always so scattered. People find it difficult to understand what I'm talking about and I can see their eyes glaze over. I have a neighbor who I don't want to get into a conversation with because I cannot understand her and hey, now that I think about it, she talks like me. My thoughts flit to other topics like a hummingbird on speed. Yes, I know not necessary, could have done without the speed, but that is what it feels like, sometimes. Other times I feel like I'm on Quaaludes; can't remember shit, can't form even a ...uh...an opinion. See what I mean?! Hormones, gotta be fucking hormones or possibly the quality illegal drugs of the seventy's.

Some of this stems from when I don't think what I have to say is as interesting as what another is saying. Happens a lot. Then again, I spent last weekend with my BFF, who wants to hear what I have to say, yet I left feeling like I still didn't speak in clear, orderly sentences. Maybe I need to take a class on storytelling? Some of it comes from having too much information feeding into my brain all the time and all the damn distractions. Interesting, this must be why I like quotes, one-liners and short jokes. Is this ADD?

Maybe, just maybe, if I can find time every day to clear my head and write freely, I can fix this. I usually post to this blog while working, while dinner is cooking, while people are talking to me, and/or while watching TV with my family because that is the way life is for me, too busy. If I stop and slow down enough to think a complete thought, I may fall asleep. No wonder I'm such a scatter brain!

Ah, that's better. Thank you for the therapy session. How much to I owe you?


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
 -- Mitch Hedberg