Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Dodged that one

Whew what A day.

I still have a job and you know what?

I love my job! I love my job! I love my job!

They say that you don't appreciate some things until they are gone. Well, I appreciate my job and it is not gone. THANK YOU!!

I do, however, feel terrible for the people that lost theirs today. Yes, it's a bitter sweet day. So happy that I was not 'voted off the island' yet really bummed about those that were.

When WILL we see the bottom of this depression?


Really I’m just tired of seeing my post about large appliances. I am so enjoying my new washer and dryer to the point that as soon as I get home, I’m looking for dirty laundry. This amazes hubby because for years now he has been doing most of it and I pretty much ignore the whole mess. I admit, I’m a gadget junky; I love new stuff, toys especially electronics.

Now, on to other more pressing matters: We (here at my work) are about to go to a meeting the CEO has scheduled for the entire company to “discuss measures being taken to ensure the growth and prosperity of the company in the face of a sustained economic downturn.” Hmm, sounds ominous. I don’t like these meetings. I’ve been to two similar type meetings and both times it was to announce either the closing of the business or the selling of the business. In both cases, I lost my job. I don’t think this is the case, for me, today. However, with the type of work we do here, I get a first hand view of this ‘economic downturn’ every freaking day.

Wish me luck.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Large Appliances; WOO HOO!

Yes, particularly a new washer and dryer.

We purchased a new set yesterday. This is a big deal. Not just because we live across the street from a mall . It was Black Friday and when the holiday shopping season begins we usually can't get in or out of our neighborhood by car or that my husband who hates crowds, hates shopping, hates spending money on anything household like actually said to me "lets go to Sears and buy this set", on Black Friday. Or that we jumped in the truck, because we had to get there before noon, drove over there, ended up parking half way back home, marched in, weaved our way through the crowds of crazy people waiting in mile long lines, found a salesperson (lucky? We know!), picked out a different, better set than the one we came for, wrote a check and we were outta there. Done, in fifteen minutes, I swear. If we hadn't of stopped to take a picture of the four CHP officers on motorcycles parked across the street from the mall - hey it looked cool and they are making it so we CAN get in and out of our neighborhood - we would have been back at the house within twenty minutes. Oh the big deal? It is that our set is over twenty years old. See what I mean about hubby not wanting to spend money on household items. And HE does most of the laundry. I know, trained well; it's really a passive aggressive thing but more about those issues of mine later. Anyway, twenty years old! P.O.S! Done, finished. It was so time and it has been for probably ten years but it took the washer ruining clothes, Princess being burnt by the snaps on Grandson's onsies and just maybe that the damn dryer will not shut off by itself. Can you say "Fire hazard".

They will be delivered and installed tomorrow. Today we have to remodel the laundry room, the last room to be repainted in over twenty years. Probably going to have to replace valves and some flooring. Which is why hubby does not look forward to doing any remodeling or just plain fixing things around here, small projects always become larger and more complicated.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Oh yeah!

Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not cooking because we had dinner with all the family Sunday. At first I felt guilty. Actually, I still do, kind of, but I'll get over it.
So my girls and I are sitting on our butts watching movies and then we are going out to dinner. The boys are on a Cannon Ball run to go get princesses car. It's 8 hours each way, they left at 4 am today and they plan on being back tonight. Nuts, I say.

And I quote...

"She should just cut his dick off right there in front of the subway station entrance."
Clearly, my daughter has some anger towards men at the moment. This is her response to a movie we are watching where the husband is complaining about not gettin any for two months after the baby was born.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Some days...

Some days it just feels like all of the sudden you get slapped upside the head, then suddenly you get slapped upside the other. Then you cry all the way home from work, in the car hoping all those commuters can't see how red your face is or how you are yelling at no one in the car with tears running down your face.

Happy Thanksgiving; My soon to be ex-son-in-law is a scum of the earth dead beat dad who is slowly chipping away at my daughters sanity and my best friends mother just found out she has breast cancer. Yes, none of this is happening to me personally but really, it is.

Just last week I was wondering why I was worrying and obsessing over stuff I usually don't. I thought it was PMS. I was feeling better about life the last few days because I was just this side of my "monthly gift" and damn happy about it. Yeah, right.

I need some serious me time, some meditation, some therapy. At the moment Vodka will do.

Monday, November 24, 2008


Had to go all small font and less color so I can read and write and not have people from across the room read my junk. I'm actually having to type this in an e-mail and then post. Maybe if I type it in Word I can check my grammar too.

I'm liking the cleanliness of the blog. My life is just so crammed full of stuff; people, items, people, things to do, people needing me....I crave simple, sparse spaces.

I've noticed when I view Dooce's daily photos that I always feel better, peaceful, more focused. Man she probably has no idea how powerful she is. Still trying to figure out how to capture the light the way she does.

Okay, more later regarding one little person who is filling my life up with giggles and smiles and cuddles so much that I have even less time to get things done. Oh and then Hubby announces, yesterday, he wants to buy a bigger house. Whoa! AS IF...we don't have enough going on already.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


Oh I know, I should do a list of what I'm thankful for here instead of my usual whining about how tired I am or how crowded and messy my house is or how my kids (when all three are together) are in some kind of competition for what I don't know or how my husband is helping everyone else and not fixing our drafty ass house or how busy yet boring my work is or how I have absolutely no time to shoot, read, write, think, exercise.....Man does that keep me in a funk or what.

And now, we are getting ready to go to my brother-in-laws for an early Thanksgiving dinner. EVERYONE will be there. Normally this would be cause for a few shots (translate: bring full flask) but I'm not going to go there today. I need to behave. I always regret the venom that comes out of my mouth when I do that at family functions.

And then I have people, too many people in my house, especially at the moment, can't write because they are looking over my shoulder and I can't write at work because, it's work, damn it. Maybe I do need to just spend some money on a lap top of my own after I buy a new washer and dryer.

Really, I'm thankful for all that I have. Sometimes though it is really just too much.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Not that I have been posting much anyway...

I barely have time to read my favorite blogs let alone post. Work has been crazy busy, as usual. And now tomorrow, I'm flying out to New York so my daughter, grandson and I can drive back to California where they belong. I have always wanted to drive across the country but I really wanted to take my time. I'm hoping this trip isn't like the Canon Ball Run.

Should we stop to see my opinionated, card carrying "scared of Obama" Republican mother? Still thinking about that one. I mean, it is 300 miles out of our way and we will be traveling with a seven month old. A very vocal seven month old. Old people can't deal with that. Hell, I'm not even sure I can deal with that.

So, yeah, won't be even touching a computer for several days. How in the hell will I survive?! Oh yeah, by enjoying the scenery, the US of A, my grandson, bonding time with my daughter and trying to capture as much of it as I can with my camera.

Must go pack so I can go to bed.

Monday, October 13, 2008

In the middle of the night

When my cat had woken me up once again to go outside, my brain kicked into high gear, as usual. One of the things I thought about, in addition to how the hell I'm going to get my daughter and grandson home from New York and how I really need to exercise, is why the hell I have been posting to Twitter when I have only one follower. And I don't even know who he is or why. Then I wonder why I post here. Oh yeah, to practice writing and to get some of this stuff out of my head before it explodes. This is more fun then writing in a journal. My handwriting is pretty much unreadable in my journal (which is probably a good thing -like writing in code) and here I have to try a bit harder to form sentences, work on my spelling and grammar and maybe even focus.

Hmm, focus, what a concept.

Once again, time is an issue. Always so much going on and now that I am in a cube with another person at work, I have less time to blog. I believe that is frowned upon by management -something about Ethics. Then again they are shoving Facebook down our throats, wanting us all to build our company presence and I haven't heard of any fallout from people being on there all day. I am regularly shocked at some of the information (?) people from our company are putting out there via Facebook. So, really, what is the difference?

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Please, slow this ride down

I am so overwhelmed.

Yeah, I KNOW, so is everyone else. Between visiting my brother-in-law in the hospital (an hour away) as many days as possible, my Princess dealing with her lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch, scum bag, dumb ass husband, us preparing for her return home with our grandson (the shining light in all of this) and Duchess (second daughter) moving out, again, to make room... I just want to drink, a lot, and curl up into a ball in a dark room. Can't, have to work, take care of our Prince (son and youngest beautiful child), help support Louise (sister-out-law and BFF) and Hubby (having a very hard time dealing with his brother/BFF in so much pain), take dogs to the vet, pay bills, blah, blah, blah...Oh shit and file my taxes!! Oh somebody please slap me!

I try to find stuff to laugh at every chance I get. Unfortunately my in-laws don't always get my sick sense of humor (this is why Louise and I get along so well and why we call ourselves Thelma and Louise) and neither does my new cube mate. Today I was reading The Onion at the hospital and trying to make brother-in-law laugh but that makes him hurt so I stopped. Now, I'm going to go set the DVR to record SNL because I am so enjoying them picking on the candidates - specifically Palin, she is just way too fun to imitate.

If this is difficult to understand, follow, whatever, I apologize; I just had a very nice dinner with Hubby at an Italian restaurant and the wine is to blame.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


I just overheard people in my department discussing the fact that I will be moving over a cube and will now have a cube mate that annoys me and I don't even sit with her. What's funny (not really) is they are talking to an IT guy, telling him whats going on and then tell him not to say anything. Excuse me, I'm right over here. I hear your endless dribble dialogue all fucking day AND I can hear my name when you are talking about ME. Oh my god I will be a spot closer to the one person in this department irritates me the most.

This will be the end of my my mid day surfing, posting to and reading blogs, uploading photos , e-mailing friends, paying bills, personal research, sending out resumes, chatting with my kids - all the best things about this job. If my new plant dies because the light from the window isn't right, I am so outta here.

Damn it! I am not happy about this but what the hell can I do? I can voice my opinion and hope for the best but I will have to prepare for the worst. Okay, at the minimum, I have got convince my supervisor that miss-has-to-voice-every-thought-concern-worry-whatever will not be sitting on the other side of the cube wall from me. If that happens I will will be flanked by two people who do NOT know how to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Nothing really

That is my problem; what I say in discussions with others feels like a bunch of nothing. I can't organize my thoughts enough to generate a coherent sentence. Hmm, I just did. Woo Hoo.

Seriously, I was thinking last night that I really need to be quiet until I can speak succinctly because, like I write, I speak it spits and starts (and run on sentences, I know). Okay, I don't really spit on people, at least I try not to. I'm just always so scattered. People find it difficult to understand what I'm talking about and I can see their eyes glaze over. I have a neighbor who I don't want to get into a conversation with because I cannot understand her and hey, now that I think about it, she talks like me. My thoughts flit to other topics like a hummingbird on speed. Yes, I know not necessary, could have done without the speed, but that is what it feels like, sometimes. Other times I feel like I'm on Quaaludes; can't remember shit, can't form even a opinion. See what I mean?! Hormones, gotta be fucking hormones or possibly the quality illegal drugs of the seventy's.

Some of this stems from when I don't think what I have to say is as interesting as what another is saying. Happens a lot. Then again, I spent last weekend with my BFF, who wants to hear what I have to say, yet I left feeling like I still didn't speak in clear, orderly sentences. Maybe I need to take a class on storytelling? Some of it comes from having too much information feeding into my brain all the time and all the damn distractions. Interesting, this must be why I like quotes, one-liners and short jokes. Is this ADD?

Maybe, just maybe, if I can find time every day to clear my head and write freely, I can fix this. I usually post to this blog while working, while dinner is cooking, while people are talking to me, and/or while watching TV with my family because that is the way life is for me, too busy. If I stop and slow down enough to think a complete thought, I may fall asleep. No wonder I'm such a scatter brain!

Ah, that's better. Thank you for the therapy session. How much to I owe you?

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
 -- Mitch Hedberg

Monday, September 15, 2008

Mundane Monday

Yeah, I know, how many times am I going to rhyme something with Monday?

Seriously, I can barely keep my eyes open with this work I have to do here. I have even been for a thirty minute walk with a group of people. I took my camera along but I am not happy with what I captured, typical. I'm not eating any crap, not even all the damn candy that is everywhere in this building! Come on people.

Meanwhile the things that are going through my head are:

Should I get my CPP? Why would I want to do that when I don't like the work I am doing now. Why the hell would I want to get a certificate so I can do it longer? How can I turn my hobby into a career? Not the hobby of sitting on my ass reading. The one where I get to shoot, edit, publish and maybe write. Guess I should try submitting something for publication. Duh. In my spare time I mean.

Should I join Jenny Craig? I seriously need help getting my ass healthy. I know how to eat, I know what to do but can't seem to do it. This topic is always in my head and I'm sick of it.

My husband and his needs.

How is my daughter doing? Is she going to dump the Cheating Dumb Ass or forgive him and try to work it out and how can I get my grandson here so he doesn't have to live like that.

Obama or, I mean McCain?

How soon is my other daughter going to move out? I have to gut that room and turn it into an

Speaking of gutting: Thoughts of my brother-in-laws impending surgery keep coming up and these are frightening!

What shall I cook for dinner tonight? Do I have clean clothes for tomorrow? Is it time to go home yet? Do I have any Vodka?

I have tons more thoughts just flitting about in my brain but these are the ones the I could catch are attempt to decipher.

And the verdict is; I'm gone. Well, that and I think it's carbohydrate withdrawals. It's real; happens every time I decide to eat more vegetables and less candy. Somebody slap me.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Lets see here

Too much shit going on.

Found out our son-in-law recently cheated on our daughter. DUMB ASS! Trying to keep hubby and siblings from flying all the way out to the east coast to pummel him. I'm ready to go get her and our grandson to move them back here with us.

Watching hurricane Ike as it finishes off hubby's uncles house and worrying about his health and trying to stay in contact with his son who stayed to ride it out!

Then our 25 year old future son-in-laws 96 year old father (yeah, long story over there) broke his femur yesterday. We are still waiting to hear how the surgery went late last night.

Watching hubby get more and more stressed over it all. Hoping our son doesn't go into a IBD flare-up from all the stress of not being able to beat the crap out of his piece of scum brother-in-law.

Ah, family. Life. Drama, always drama and I wonder why my blood pressure is high? Is it this or because I drink? Or do I drink because of this?

So, I'm heading north today to spend some time with my sister-outlaw-best friend while her hubby is off on a trip. We haven't been able to spend girl time together in about two years and gotta get it in before her husband (my brother-in-law) has a major, major surgery (gets gutted like a fish!) at the end of the month. We will be drinking, talking, drinking, shopping, drinking, going to the movies...did I mention drinking?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Injustice or hard lesson learned?

Text message sent from my husband to our son;

Gas to drive to Aggressive Offender class - $5.00
Tuition for Aggressive Offender class - $30.00
Getting the phone number for the hot girl also attending the class - priceless

Now if this isn't white trash, I don't know what is.

The back story: Last June my gentle giant son got assaulted at school - jumped from behind for allegedly calling someone a name. He never got a punch in, ended up with a concussion AND the administration took two hours to contact my husband regarding his need for medical attention. I, meanwhile, was on the east coast visiting my daughter and new grandson. Talk about losing my mind! ANYway; my son received a citation, was required to do four hours of community service and attend an Aggressive Offender class - the same damn punishment as the perps and his little friend with the mouth who actually started the whole thing! Tell me, how is my son an Aggressor here? And try explaining the justice to a sixteen year old who wants revenge. We managed and he decided (after many discussions and roller coaster emotions) to make it a learning experience (old soul that he is). He actually ended up liking the class so much he would like to teach it some day! He also decided he is done hanging around with foul mouthed little punks who are probably just using him for his height and his truck.

Monday, September 8, 2008

I think we all need to read this...

Jen Lancaster's post for today

Please don't notice my double "THANK YOU JEN" comment. Still new and slow! Or is that still slow and new?

Marvelous Monday

If I say it's marvelous it will be, right?

I'm waiting for the work to come crashing down the line here. Can't believe my inbox isn't already crammed. Of course I get in before 7 am and most of these losers saunter in after 9. And then they (some of them) have the nerve to say "Oh, leaving early?" when I'm trying to escape at 3:30 or 4. It's hard not to snap back at them or worse (better) punch them in the face. My my, don’t know where that rage is coming from. Maybe it’s just another manic Monday. Okay, I’ll stop.

Oh yeah, it will be marvelous because I'm getting my very own dirt bike today! Why I am excited, I'm not quite sure. Part of me thinks as a 46 year old grandmother, with not enough time to spend on her photography already and who is not in the best of physical shape (OMG is that the understatement of the century!), who needs to plan some trips to other states to see relatives including her grandson, does not have time (nor the desire) to clean her house (but would love to have someone do it for me – any takers?), has no business getting, let alone riding a dirt bike. Not to mention – WE HAVE TOO MUCH CRAP ALEADY. But that is a whole other day of ranting. Then I think oh HELL YEAH; I want to ride! Still have to learn how, hope I don't crash though I'm sure I will at some point and it will hurt. And then there is Hubby and the kids, they REALLY want me to ride with them. How can I resist that? Precious time with the teenage son and second daughter (before she moves far away from me in November!).

I just have this vision of BIG tall mamma on a poor little dirt bike and it is not pretty.

SO, this is one reason I wore my pants that are too tight when I sit down, today. Wait, most of my jeans are like that right now. Anyway, I’m hoping that as I sit here, uncomfortable in my britches that I will think twice before I shove food (candy, cookies, you name it – this place is a smorgasbord of crap everyday, all day) in my face. Maybe I’ll even go for a walk if only to relieve my gut from my waistband strangulation.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sunday; day of rest. HA!

Really just random crap rolling around in my head here.

Too much stuff to do and it's too fricking hot outside. HATE HEAT. HATE. I need to get to the grocery store early so I can do the other thing I hate doing; shopping for food. Oops too late. And now the boys are chomping at the bit to get me out looking at used dirt bikes. Yes, I would like one so I can go riding with them but do I want to spend my money on that? Not particularly. I will not ride on days like this but fall is coming. WOO HOO! I really want a new laptop. My very own so my game junkie son can have the one I am currently using. Oh and more camera equipment. Yeah, I could go on and on about all the crap that needs to be done around here and all the shit I want/need but then I would just be sitting here not getting anything done. Typical. The marshmellow me is paralized by indecision. I would much rather lounge all day, reading, blogging and drinking vodka but, no, not a good idea either. Speaking of blogging; where the heck is Jen Lancaster? It's been over a week and nothing. Hopefully she is busy doing whatever it is you do to get a new book released.

Off to sweat my ass off just stepping out the front door.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Letting it all hang out, right here!

Okay maybe not 'all' but for sure, enough of it.

Hubby and I were discussing Sarah Palin last night. I like to play the devils advocate so of course we are almost arguing when he says neither of us know enough about any of all this to be discussing it let alone get all worked up about it. I agreed but it all fascinates me. For now. I'll get bored or really too busy to be able to keep up on it all, just like I did during the primaries, and then I'm done.

I do need to just shut up and listen to people who have a clue. Every time I try to talk politics I feel like an idiot after. I'm ashamed that my twenty-five year old future son-in-law knows more about politics than I ever have. I don't agree with some (most) of his views but still, he knows more than I do about the candidates, government, etc. Of course he studied Political Science for a bit while in college. He is also very articulate and me, I get tripped up on just remembering the right words at times. On the flip side, I feel like an ignoramus when people are talking politics and I don't voice an opinion either way because I'm afraid of peoples reaction to my (uninformed) opinion.

I'm so fucking wishy washy.

I want to grow a spine and decide for myself, what I want in a leader (or just what I want in life). I know I am not happy with the shape the country is in (who is?), I have a son-in-law that is about to be deployed, again, so I want that bullshit over with now. That is the biggest thing on MY agenda. It is so time for a change and putting another Republican in office just doesn't feel right.

Global warming; yesterday I was blown away that people don't believe there is such a thing. Today, I remember I didn't believe in it either at first and now I'm thinking maybe it is cyclical. See what I mean? I'm all over the map, all the time. I do believe we need to stop our dependence on oil, period, not just foreign. Drilling in Alaska is not the answer and neither is Corn.

I have an extremely strong willed, opinionated mother who impressed and scared me at the same time growing up. Though, as I've gotten older I see some of that as an insecurity thing on her part. She actually got angry with my daughter, was almost yelling at her while discussing politics and made her cry. My daughter was nineteen at the time and I remember thinking for the first time ever, I wanted that woman to leave my house right then. Staunch Republican senior citizen vs Free Spirited Independent bleeding heart teenager. This is what I remember growing up with - being told or getting the feeling that my opinions were bad or wrong or stupid and people won't like or love me, specifically Mom. Dad died when I was five so, poor woman, all the blame/credit goes to her. Way past time for me to get over it and grow up.

I do worry that because Hubby and I are so "uneducated" when it comes to this election that we will follow other peoples choices - like fucking sheep and I hate it when people do that shit.

And then there are these politicians, the government, the media - aren't they really all in bed together? So to speak. They are going to say what we want to hear. And can we really trust any of them?

I really don't have time for this anyway. I haven't been using my time wisely and I have way too much crap to do. Like work, a computer to reformat, photos to edit, oh and I still need to file my 2007 taxes! Darn and I was going to clean the house. HA.

And I'm spent.

Saturday, August 30, 2008


Rudely sarcastic or disrespectful; snide.
Irritable or short-tempered; irascible

I kinda figured I knew what it meant but just had to look it up at

Yep, there should be a picture of me right there with the definition.

Speaking of pictures: Note to self; reshoot self portrait with new pretty, fat, fast birthday present lens.

Zinfandel ramble

Yes, two fat glasses of the sweet nectar in. Surfing the net and getting inspired to get and keep a camera at the ready at all times. I carry a point and shoot digital in my purse. Unfortunately while it is far superior to my camera phone, I am regularly disappointed by the results. I was so wishing I had brought my DSLR to the Keith Urban concert. I was also wishing, the next morning, that I hadn't drank so much. Then I would have remembered to take some video with said point and shoot like I had planned to do because the shots I did get SUCK. Erf. Of course I am my worst critic.

Soooo, tired from my company trip, I really should be sleeping or something but yeah, I have become a blog, Internet, computer junkie. I am so happy to be home even if it is a dirty pit of dust, dog/cat hair, dirty clothes, too many people in a too small house with too much crap! I feel like I have been at work forever and hardly home which I have. I decided I like my job? Okay not necessarily the work but the people for sure.

I totally lost my train of thought. As usual! This is why it is a ramble. Got distracted by teenagers filing into my house, husband coming home from his mini hunting trip, dogs, cats, the kitchen needing to be cleaned, having to pee.... So, anyway, my plan, should I remember tomorrow, is to post a photo a day on my photography blog that I need to edit and update.

In the mean time, I am going to clean the kitchen, sort of, take a quick shower and hit the sheets with my hubby. It's time. These dang teenagers and dogs best not keep me up all night.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Quick, grab your martini glass!

"Vodka spill staggers traffic on Highway 101"

Do you think there will be a shortage now? I sure hope the price doesn't go up! What do they do with the absorbent? I wonder if they (the workers) can get a contact high from the fumes. I know people do off of me sometimes…

The comments at the end of the article are priceless!

This is fun!!

Found this cool "toy" at

I used my first post; About ME! for the text. Obviously I need to seriously work on my writing skills and add some words to my vocabulary. Do I use 'get' too much or what? Photography should be the most prominent word. Or should it be family? I'm surprised it's not the word tired or exhausted or unappreciated. Waaaa...

Create your own "word cloud" at

Friday, August 22, 2008

THIS is who I get to see tomorrow night!

And NO, I can't wait. I can barely sit still thinking about him. The man is beautiful and puts on a rockin show. The closer it gets to showtime the more excited I get. Bought the tickets for my best friend/sister-outlaw for her birthday and we are going with our husbands; the brothers. Now if we could only find a way to ditch them during the concert so we can drool freely. But then again, they will be fetching our cocktails for us during and driving our drunk (drooly) asses home after so, I guess they can stay with us.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


I'm going on the work training/retreat/team building/whatever trip. That is if our corporate travel agency can accommodate my request on such short notice. I changed my mind after asking Hubby last night what we were going to do Labor Day weekend. I got a few grunts out of him so I figured we probably wouldn't be doing much. But who knows; my husbands motto is 'Indecision is the key to flexibility'. I can't get him to plan anything, with me, ahead of time. Now if it is a hunting trip, that is a different story except that he still does everything he needs to do last minute. Hmmm, I do that part too. But enough about him, this is about me, all about me! I decided what the heck, I'll go. Hopefully my two team members that love me so much will pair up and I won't have to be their tour guide. I'll get to hang out with my other new buds that work in my same department but aren't on my team in a non-work environment for a half day or so. It better be fun damn it. And not too hot. I HATE heat, HATE IT.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Work travel

Our department is going on a "retreat" or training trip or team building trip, whatever the hell they are calling it this time, to our Nevada offices. Originally I wasn't going to go due family obligations. Well those particular obligations have been rescheduled. So, now my friend (in the department) really wants me to go. I just don't want to. I have been there four times and I just don't like it there. Then I'm listening to two of my team members who are going try to figure out how to set up their travel arrangements and I'm reminded of one reason I don't want to go: they would follow me around like puppies. I realize this is not nice but they are older and timid and they look to me to help them. Now, I don't mind this so much but they (one in particular) are too needy and I would be their guide so to speak the whole time. They order whatever I order when we got to restaurants or order take out.

Our sups want us to stay the night Thursday night and we wouldn't get back until late Friday. Yes they provide very nice accommodations and feed us but I'm always sad when I'm away - especially there. I feel I put in enough time here and away from my family that I don't want to do any more. And this is my own opinion. I used to do shit just because my hubby would give me so much grief if he didn't want me doing it not knowing if it was really because I wanted to or not. This time, I know I don't want to go. I know I'll miss something but the cons out way the pros right now. It's for work and at this very moment I'm hating this place.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Monday (yes, I know it's Tuesday)

The wedding was beautiful and everyone was on their best behaviour. Except me, as usual. I think I actually insulted a brother of the other groom by dissing Texas. Well, I hate Texas. Okay, hate is a bit strong. I don't like Texas. Been there three times and that was three times too many. So, no good material to work with from there. I know, I said (wrote) that I would get into more detail about the conversation I had with my sister-outlaw. I will. I have to, just not right now. Being at work while blogging this really cramps my style. Just can't find the time once I get home between cooking dinner, running errands, sitting in my chair reading, watching the Olympics (SWIMMERS!!) and drinking cocktails.

My September Oprah magazine came in the mail yesterday. Made my Monday evening much better considering Hubby was still on his work rant. Argh. It's been weeks, months actually and I'm really tired of hearing it. I know he needs to talk and get it out but he doesn't come up for air to the point that my ears start ringing. He is so tired and so cranky that everything pisses him off. What the hell am I supposed to do with it all? Oh, I know, grab my mag and my reading glasses (!!) and sneak off to my bed. Once again Martha Beck had me laughing and crying. Laughing because she is funny, I think, for a self help kinda person. Crying because she gets me or people like me. Now if I could just get her to come over here and kick my ass into gear. I'm going to try writing down a few key sentences from her article to keep with me and read often. Maybe her wisdom will finally sink into my thick head.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


My in-laws. OH MY are they some good raw material to blog about.

I just got off the phone with my best friend and sister-outlaw (we married into the craziness) who just enlightened me with some new information regarding these people and jesus the crap that comes out of their mouths. I swear I could write a book about them. I did write a paper for an English class many years ago (yep, been dealing with this stuff for a LONG time) that was pretty much nothing but a thorough bashing (my instructor loved it). Later I kind of regretted being so mean but it was just to effing funny. I will write about them and their insane view on everything later. Right now I need to go find some shoes to go with the dress I bought last week for the wedding of the second to youngest brother-in-law and his partner that we are going to tomorrow. Are you following me here? Keep up. Yeah, I should have even more material to work with after. Oh and I'm shooting the wedding. I actually feel very excited, honored and hella nervous. I am NOT a professional photographer. They know this but I guess they think; Relative with good camera equipment, FREE photos, what the hell. Which is why I need to chill and enjoy the opportunity since they aren't paying me.

Yes, I'm a bitch. Two faced too. I hate people like that! I'm working on being more funny about it and less mean because as nucking futs as these people are I do love them. Some of them. Some more than others. Some, not so much. Okay, fine, I tolerate them. For my husband.

Off to shop for SHOES and whatever other shiny objects catch my eye!

Friday, August 15, 2008

The blogger life

I want it.

I'm at my desk, at work at (or before) 7 am PST every week day. Very few others are in the office so it's the perfect time to read blogs and blog. Yet, all the bloggers I like (so far) obviously aren't even up yet!! The are my inspiration. Where are they? They are all mid west to east coasters so they should be posting by then. Right? I'm so jealous and this is one of the reasons I want to be a writer. So I can sleep in. Of course sleeping in to me is 7 am since during the week I'm up at 5 am - reluctantly! I just want to wake up when I want to. Of course even when I can "sleep in" I wake up because I am in pain. Okay, not pain but I ache. I hate bitching about ailments mostly because I know I can fix them if I could just get off my fat ass. My back, my hips and/or my neck hurt when I stay in bed too long and I'm flopping around like a fresh caught fish trying to get comfy. Then the committee starts a chattering. AND this is when I need to get up so I can write and clear all the crazy, spastic, all over the effin map thoughts out of my head.

Just another rambling post. Who cares. Does anybody read this? And I was worried people would.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I am woman, I am tired!

Way too busy. Not enough sleep. Ever. Daughter and grandson have been visiting for two weeks (along with ALL the family members and friend's that must see the baby) and then there is work. I like the comment my other daughters boyfriend made yesterday; "work is sucking my soul from my body." I feel the same but damn it, how the hell else am I going to pay for plane tickets to go see my grandson and/or fly them out here to see us? I cried all the way home Monday, after working twelve hours, thinking to myself how I should have stayed in college. Then maybe, just maybe, I would be working doing something I love and not slaving for someone else. Yeah, I think about that every fucking day!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Fake people!

This is one way my brain rolls (around in my head!) - my friends get it and so does my baby sister. Does anyone else? I wonder. Often.

Following is an E-mail to Sister this morning regarding how Ms Rabbit (supposedly a nice woman and friend) repeatedly refused to let my sister take her grand kids out for some fun and told her she thought she drove too fast, her house was filthy and she had no sense.

Subject: FAT ASS Rabbit
Sorry, I'm still reeling from what you told me she said to you. She is the ultimate two face bitch!! How dare she! She has been to your home, eaten your food, acted all sweet and lovey. How the hell does she sleep at night? Oh, right, she probably doesn't and that is why she is the way she is. Oh, she is so going to be the butt - ASS - of my jokes. Did she say you drive too fast? WhatEV. Who doesn't? At least if there was trouble not only could you get OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY but you could kick ass if needed. For the record, as full as your house is - it is WAY CLEANER THAN MINE! And Sense - I'd like to slap some sense into her. What the hell is she talking about?! I guess your sense of style, your sense of the energy of the people around you, your sense of humor, your common sense, etc. are not enough for her. SCREW her. Be done with her. YOU are so much better than her. Oh I am just so pissed. By the way, you all are food snobs, not just your daughter. In my humble opinion. AND there is nothing wrong with that. More power to you!! Why do you think everyone wants to eat your food? Oh on that note. If your hubby did do ALL the cooking on the camping trip, all those fatties would probably complain that it was too healthy. As if too healthy is possible. Okay, I think I'm done here. You can go wipe off all my rant now. Love you!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

About ME!

I'm new at this blogging thing and I'm just going to go for it here so hang on.

I'm a tall (trust me it will come up for one reason or another) forty-something wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother (!), daughter, sister, friend, (not necessarily in that order and yes it's all important to me), living in Northern California (most of my life). I'm currently working full time at I job that pays the bills but does nothing for my creativity that I know is there/here somewhere screaming to be expressed. I commute thirty minutes to an hour each way, five days a week. I mention this because it sucks the life and energy out of me (except when I'm singing to XM radio), but enough of that for now.

I am an amateur photographer but you probably won't see my photos here because I'm a BIG chicken. I love all kinds of music (singing in the car at the top of my lungs brings me great joy). I love all kinds of movies. I don't have enough time to watch many but this is probably a good thing because I tend to get so sucked into the plots that I want to stay there and then have a hard time facing reality. Unless it's a depressing or scary movie; then I'm just traumatized. I love to read anything and everything and have a serious addiction to books, journals and camera equipment. I would rather be reading, writing or shooting all day, everyday.

While slaving for an ever expanding (translate; EXPLODING) 'Company' (not gonna do it, not gonna name or even allude to the type of company. I'm not ready to get fired - yet), I decided to start a blog in part because I needed a distraction from the daily monotonous, sometimes tear inducing mind sucking tedium of what amounts to data entry for a "great" company (with really great people). Said company had recently, secretly, changed their employee motto to "Bend over and take it in the ass" when it came to the customers requests and demands. But I mainly started blogging because I love to write, if only to amuse myself and not get any of my work done. Or cook, or do laundry or clean the house. I'm sure you get the idea. To be honest here, I may not have even thought about blogging if it wasn't for my job where I sit at a computer all day and surf while waiting for things to process or stuff to happen. Lately I have been reading a lot of funny blogs (I WILL add links) and trying not to laugh too loud from my, I mean cube.

I'd like to use this blog to get a handle on all the stuff that is constantly going on in my head. I want to get it all organized or at the least translated so humans can understand me. My sister and I refer to this chatter in our heads as The Committee. No we are not bipolar or schizo, I don't think. Unless we are PMSing then people need to just stay away, far away.

This is it for now because this is taking me too long to draft and I want to get something posted. I'll revise as I see fit.

Thank you for reading!